Part 1: Panic Mode
31 August
Appointment booked. MRI + specialist. My brain immediately leapt to Shakespearean levels of doom. Not “maybe tweak meds,” but this is the end.
Wildlife didn’t help. Snake on the road? Fine, gave him a neighbourly nod, as did Bugsy. Rain spider in my cottage? Full-blown Armageddon. Hyperventilating, sobbing, legs like overcooked pasta. Bugsy lost his mind, barked, growled, and did not like the intruder. I can pick up roaches with my hands, but a rain spider? Absolutely not.
Joined a “Sip ’n Sew” group and tried embroidery. My stitches looked like I did them mid-earthquake while drunk, but here’s the thing: I don’t care, I love it. It gives my eyes a rest from the screen, and it’s a million times easier on my hands than crochet (another thing I’ve had to give up). It’s messy, but who cares? It’s for fun, for sanity. Sadly for my loved ones, this does mean their future birthday and Christmas gifts will likely all be embroidered horrors.
Stats then:
- Coffee: lots
- Spasms: more
- Falls: 1
- Diet: soft foods only
Part Two: life piling on
4 September
Then came The Car Situation. I can no longer use a clutch; my leg can’t push it in, so I had to make the difficult decision to sell it and move over to an automatic. Buyer found the day before the scan. Cue frantic running around on the faint whisper of a spoon, with my family doing Olympic-level backup. Cleaning, paperwork, and roadworthy test.
While waiting at the Roadworthy place, phone pings: sedation for MRI wasn’t booked. Sedation, which I need because claustrophobia. Called, begged, bargained. Too late. Scan postponed. Again.
On paper, it’s “a little hiccup.” In my body? Every nerve ending burst into flames. Shaking, weak legs, dropping everything. I couldn’t stand. My family had to swoop in, finish the car admin, and carry me home. My nervous system just flatlined. Two days later, I’m still bent crooked, walking like a puppet with cut strings. I have never felt this weak. It’s a horrible feeling.
Current scorecard:
- Coffee: 3
- Spasms: 2
- Falls: narrowly avoided, thanks to family rescue squad
- Embroidery: gloriously messy, unapologetically mine
- Scan: postponed (rage emoji)
Bugsy, of course, remains unbothered. Happy passenger, ears flapping in the breeze, no clue about MRIs or roadworthy tests. Just pure dog joy. Honestly? I think he’s onto something.
